Author Topic: She Who Must Be Obeyed  (Read 336 times)

Offline bollard

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She Who Must Be Obeyed
« on: April 18, 2017, 10:36:27 AM »
Dare I risk another of my essays?  This one is a bit more advanced than the others, I hope you like it, critical comment welcome


SWMBO

Boys used to have train sets and girls were given dolls – it's the blue verses pink.  Generally speaking, we like different things and that's what makes us men and women. Some of us men have an craving for old motorbikes where as our womenfolk are more fond of handbags and shoes, they often say that they need more yet their wardrobe is stacked.

There are women motorcyclists although, on the whole, it is a male dominated field and especially older motorbikes, where tinkering is prevalent, tends to be almost exclusively male territory. In life the two sexes have to get on and a degree of tolerance of each others preferences helps an harmonious co- existence but it can be a tricky business.

Excesses need to be curbed and, in particular, men seem to need to be kept in order. Motorbikes are desirable objects, what red blooded man can resist them?, one's very own magic carpet. They are such good fun and it's nice simply to own one, even if  you don't use it much. Mine grace the garage, on sunny days they are brought out on display although not admired by the neighbours, strange that.

Males sometimes need to be reminded of family commitments and that they are no longer single and free to do what they want. When I joined a motorbike group I was struck by how many members were divorced, single or widowed. They were thus able to indulge in long Sunday lunches at the pub that was the club's venue and they did indeed seem to own numerous motorbikes in various stages of repair.

One chap I met had a similar bike to mine and in the course of conversation he mentioned that he had an engine for sale. The price was right and I was going his way to a meeting so I arranged to take it. My meeting went on longer than anticipated so I 'phoned to say I'd be late, he said he was on an early shift, that he'd leave the engine in a wheel barrow and I should put the money in his letter box.

When I next saw him I asked if he got the money, he said 'no, my partner was up before me'. Possibly he owed his partner money, I don't know. Later I went round his house and saw that he had an additional motorbike. I said 'that's new isn't it?' . He said that his partner had asked the same question. 'What did you say?' I asked. 'That I'd had it for ages' he replied. After a moments pause he said, 'that's what she says to me when I ask about her new stuff'.

Fortunately for me my wife's brother has always owned motorbikes so my shenanigans are tolerated despite being limited to two. She won't ride pillion because she says if we are both killed then there will be nobody for the children, now there's a sobering thought! Actually, I have a third bike but it's in bits so that it isn't obvious.

Sensible expenditure and time spent on motorbikes is OK with her as it stops me being too grumpy and, lets face it, there's worse things that I could be getting up to. It is something of a hobby really and we are all allowed a hobby. It is that ill defined grey area that is the problem, the trick is to push up against the line without crossing it.

I can just about remember dismantling a motorbike in my living room before I was married. Proposing something like that now would be viewed extremely dimly if not grounds for divorce. Pity as the garage is freezing but there we are. We intuitively know when not to argue. A friend insisted on taking his bike on holiday, his wife had the kids in the car, she wasn't impressed when he flew past at a great rate of knots. He was pushing his luck there.

Where there's a will there's usually a solution: so hold on, take a deep breath, stay calm, think it through then negotiate and agree something, it's usually a compromise but better than nothing. Of course I don't need to tell you all this. You've found out yourselves, hopefully not the hard way. Relationships are about being happy, surely there is room for give and take, although it is reminiscent of my “discussions” with my female manager at work and I never came out of those especially well.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2017, 10:40:40 AM by bollard »

Offline Rex

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Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2017, 08:41:40 PM »
We were discussing much the same the other day when one of our number let slip that his missus was very upset that he'd bought another bike against her wishes. Bearing in mind that he has maybe another additional 6/7 bikes what difference does one more make to her? Another said he always had to sell one to buy another as for reasons unknown she would get upset if the total rose to more than two. My old girl has absolutely no interest in old bikes (or even new bikes) but we both find it astounding that some women get so demonstrative over their husband's hobby. Do wives whose husbands like guitars, stamp albums or railway modelling act in this way too?
As long as the bikes aren't parked in the house and money isn't coming out of household funds, WTF does it matter?
I'm sure that deep-down she's pleased I'm knocking up something on the Myford than down the pub or looking up the local naughty women on t'Interwebby.. ;)

Offline mini-me

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Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2017, 10:06:41 PM »
It's a wise woman who lets her old man have a shed hobby; as I have known  a few wives agree, if he's in the shed faffing with his old tat, they know where he is, who he is with, and he's not down the pub, betting shop, or knocking shop.
Old bikes, stationary engines all that sort of stuff are cheaper in the long run, and they have someting to flog off when he's snuffed.

Me, I played a blinder, I met my missus 40yrs ago when I sold her a bike; she passed her test on it, then sold it for more than she paid for it, so I thought too good to let go.
The only time she cribs about bikes is because I still have not put one of hers back together...... its on the list ::)

Offline bollard

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Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2017, 04:00:40 PM »
I'm not sure why it comes to mind. Somehow I am reminded of trying to claim for a fresh pair of boots at work.

I was in a contracting part of an organisation and every now and then they would issue safety equipment including boots, it was a matter of course.

then things changed, work got out sourced and i was moved into an administrative division where i eventually ended up with a female boss

since i still did site visits i needed boots and sought for replacements, my boss asked to look at the one's i had got. they were pretty worn but not worn out.

however the stitching had come adrift on the upper surface of one boot (due to my m/bike gear change lever). she mumbled about changing them puzzled at the damage.

of course i said nothing and just thought that this is how she must be with her kids, the whole thing was embarrassing, my old boss would have just said go ahead.

Offline Rex

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Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2017, 06:13:45 PM »
This is how feckin' idiotic bosses back themselves into a corner of their own making.
So she inspected your boots.....was she really going to contemplate knocking back your request, and if she wasn't, why bother inspecting them? The dummy woman couldn't then win either way.
Some people end up in positions of authority, and they really shouldn't be.

Offline mini-me

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Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed
« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2017, 07:31:18 PM »
Being promoted above their ability seems to be  the norm these days.

firms are obcessed with managing.

It was pointed out to me as a lad, that if you promote the blokes who are excellent at the job,then all you got left is the dross that can't do it. So they promote the dross.

At least, that was how it was in the days of Nationalised industry, now it applies to politicians.

Offline bollard

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Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed
« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2017, 08:08:28 PM »
the chief exec got about 150Kpa plus bonus and there was a quibble about 15 boots in the quantity they ordered them in.

Offline mini-me

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Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed
« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2017, 09:03:16 PM »
I've  worked for firms like that.

"we need to make savings"....so they kick all the way down to the bottom and cut overtime, the only thing that made the job worth while, but kicked a layer of middle management up a level.

Or they cut out the overall laundry service, they supplied the overall and the dirt, but we had to pay to remove it.

Take Wiltshire Council, 3 top execs on 160,000 and expenses, need to make budget cuts, so sack the  guys who get their hands dirty. Offices are nice, recently had a 24 million refit.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2017, 09:05:34 PM by mini-me »

Offline bollard

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Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed
« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2017, 10:27:30 PM »



cartoon that went with one of my stories about the office.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2017, 10:29:10 PM by bollard »