Author Topic: Obvious  (Read 7668 times)

Offline Bomber

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Obvious
« on: June 05, 2013, 12:39:23 AM »
An American photographer on vacation was inside a church in Oldham taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'.

 The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

 Next stop was in Manchester... There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Oldham and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 he could talk to God.

 'O.K., thank you,' said the American.

 He then travelled to Blackburn, Darwen, Burnley, Rochdale and Littleborough. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '£10,000 per call' sign under it. The American, upon leaving Lancashire decided to travel to Yorkshire to see if Yorkshiremen had the same phone.

 He arrived in Todmorden, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 pence per call.'

 The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've travelled all over Lancashire and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in Lancashire the price was £10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'

 The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Yorkshire now, son. It's a local call.'
If iver tha does owt for nowt alus duit for thissen

wetdog

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Re: Obvious
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2013, 08:48:20 AM »
funny we tell the same joke down here , but change the word GOD to Allah , have you heard the one about the Yorkshire man who thought restoring a Norton jubilee was a good idea  :)

Offline Bomber

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Re: Obvious
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2013, 08:50:21 AM »
Yes it's a good one!... but it just goes to show the old adage is true.. Yorkshire born, Yorkshire bred, strong in arm, weak in head!
If iver tha does owt for nowt alus duit for thissen

wetdog

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Re: Obvious
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2013, 09:22:59 AM »
 ;D ;D good luck with that one I can not remember the last one I saw running , a rare sight so the value may go up , look what some bantams fetch now

Offline wink

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Re: Obvious
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2013, 04:35:06 PM »
the Lancs Yorks border runs through the middle of Todmorden town hall because it´s built over a culverted river and I think the church is on the Lancs side opposite the town hall. Nice little town but lots of ethnics.

Offline Bomber

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Re: Obvious
« Reply #5 on: June 06, 2013, 11:07:17 PM »
Someone told me Toddy was the lesbian capital of the north... I can't vouch for this, but it's an interesting outlook
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Offline wink

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Re: Obvious
« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2013, 09:08:35 AM »
I couldn´t comment on anyones sexuality but I believe the girls ride V-max´s. I was told by an old man in Burnley that " Tod girls go " but nowadays I lock myself in the shed and play with my train set.

Offline Bomber

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Re: Obvious
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2013, 10:58:16 PM »
Definitely the way to go... I'd rather have a bacon sarnie these days tbh
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Offline wink

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Re: Obvious
« Reply #8 on: June 07, 2013, 11:28:38 PM »
A tenuous link but;  The Times, June 3rd reports that 2m prescriptions written in the UK for Viagra last year.
  40·3m pounds spent on Viagra by NHS in England. ( not UK )
Viagra costs 10 pounds per pill. These figures don´t stand up to investigation.
Sorry, wrong again, more than 1 pill per prescription. My maths never was good but thats a hard one!