Dare I risk another of my essays? This one is a bit more advanced than the others, I hope you like it, critical comment welcome
SWMBO
Boys used to have train sets and girls were given dolls – it's the blue verses pink. Generally speaking, we like different things and that's what makes us men and women. Some of us men have an craving for old motorbikes where as our womenfolk are more fond of handbags and shoes, they often say that they need more yet their wardrobe is stacked.
There are women motorcyclists although, on the whole, it is a male dominated field and especially older motorbikes, where tinkering is prevalent, tends to be almost exclusively male territory. In life the two sexes have to get on and a degree of tolerance of each others preferences helps an harmonious co- existence but it can be a tricky business.
Excesses need to be curbed and, in particular, men seem to need to be kept in order. Motorbikes are desirable objects, what red blooded man can resist them?, one's very own magic carpet. They are such good fun and it's nice simply to own one, even if you don't use it much. Mine grace the garage, on sunny days they are brought out on display although not admired by the neighbours, strange that.
Males sometimes need to be reminded of family commitments and that they are no longer single and free to do what they want. When I joined a motorbike group I was struck by how many members were divorced, single or widowed. They were thus able to indulge in long Sunday lunches at the pub that was the club's venue and they did indeed seem to own numerous motorbikes in various stages of repair.
One chap I met had a similar bike to mine and in the course of conversation he mentioned that he had an engine for sale. The price was right and I was going his way to a meeting so I arranged to take it. My meeting went on longer than anticipated so I 'phoned to say I'd be late, he said he was on an early shift, that he'd leave the engine in a wheel barrow and I should put the money in his letter box.
When I next saw him I asked if he got the money, he said 'no, my partner was up before me'. Possibly he owed his partner money, I don't know. Later I went round his house and saw that he had an additional motorbike. I said 'that's new isn't it?' . He said that his partner had asked the same question. 'What did you say?' I asked. 'That I'd had it for ages' he replied. After a moments pause he said, 'that's what she says to me when I ask about her new stuff'.
Fortunately for me my wife's brother has always owned motorbikes so my shenanigans are tolerated despite being limited to two. She won't ride pillion because she says if we are both killed then there will be nobody for the children, now there's a sobering thought! Actually, I have a third bike but it's in bits so that it isn't obvious.
Sensible expenditure and time spent on motorbikes is OK with her as it stops me being too grumpy and, lets face it, there's worse things that I could be getting up to. It is something of a hobby really and we are all allowed a hobby. It is that ill defined grey area that is the problem, the trick is to push up against the line without crossing it.
I can just about remember dismantling a motorbike in my living room before I was married. Proposing something like that now would be viewed extremely dimly if not grounds for divorce. Pity as the garage is freezing but there we are. We intuitively know when not to argue. A friend insisted on taking his bike on holiday, his wife had the kids in the car, she wasn't impressed when he flew past at a great rate of knots. He was pushing his luck there.
Where there's a will there's usually a solution: so hold on, take a deep breath, stay calm, think it through then negotiate and agree something, it's usually a compromise but better than nothing. Of course I don't need to tell you all this. You've found out yourselves, hopefully not the hard way. Relationships are about being happy, surely there is room for give and take, although it is reminiscent of my “discussions” with my female manager at work and I never came out of those especially well.
